Friday, July 25, 2008

In The Mood For Love

Busy day...a hot day
an exhausting day, but still when the work was done I returned home waiting for the night, there is a promise for the end of the week, for something different. Not that it was a special night, but still, the promise of a night with friends, the promise of a well organized party changed dramatically my mood.
It was party time and that was all i needed.
I took a shower, wear my favorite t-shirt and a pair of short trousers and rushed for the late bus. In my ears the appropriate music from my mp3 player to warm my mood. Radiohead, The Dandy Wharhols, Mars Volta, and Blue Monk to cool down.
I only needed a few drinks to loosen up so I could work out my dancing moves. There is no greater joy than losen up, cloud a little bit your thoughts with the appropriate amount of alcohol, not to much not to little, just enough to let go of he moral constrictions that tighten up the feet and the tongue, and then ignoring those that stare at you making all kind of comments, good or bad, to dance, sing, talk with all you.
So, I entered the room, dim light enough space for the guests to feel comfortable, but not to spacey so that stranger will have the chance to get accustom with each other. Most of my friends were already on the second round, high on spirit, talking vigorously, mostly about soccer, about the new season, the new coach...
"I'm late as always" I though...but the bar is always close.

It is as if the shortest road to anything is the road to the bar. And when you reach it, usually the amount of time required to reach the bar is always proportional to your sobriety (you get there faster when you are a little bit drunk) you found it crowded, with people doing anything else BUT drinking. So you end up thinking of ways to remove the obstacles that separates you from your goal, a cold big glass of frozen Beer.

After the usual greetings and small talk I headed to the bar.
The music was surprisingly good. The one that will make you feel great, smooth to the ear and to the mind. It was a great evening. Not as great as I could possibly think. As I reached to the bar I grubbed a cold beer, for starters, and turned around to look upon the growing crowd. The music had an amazing effect on all the attendants, as the next song was started I was astound. it was Frank Sinatra's
"I've got you under my skin".
"that is an excellent choice" I though.
I turned around now facing the steady relaxing movement of people having fun. The crowd surrendered to the groove. Some of them were singing the song, others had already found a partner to dance with.
"some songs will always have that amazing effect" I pondered... I let the beer to cool me, and as I took a deep swallow of the liquor, a exhale of relief, relieved from the last traces of the morning tension.
As my mind and my sight was wandering, partially from the big gulp of 1/2 lt Weiss beer, in the far end, under low light, and in the left side of the room, I saw her.
...I may see only fools 'round she...
The air was heavier, my knees could not held my weight, and time stopped, for as long as it was necessary for me to fully grasp the moment. I stepped away from the lights that darkened my vision, far but not too far, so that I would not miss the softness of your movement, the freshness of your smile, just enough to be unnoticed. I was memorizing every gesture, trying to read your lips, not to understand what you were saying, but to just watch, observe, with a faint smile.
For that time of no time, I could only hear my heart
...pounding to the rhythm of the rain..,
just for a second, but it was enough.
Dark black straight long hair shining to the faint light of the room, a gentle calm face, a woman's body, not too thin, not fat, just as I dreaming of it, in a simple black dress that fitted with her pale skin and those black eyes, shining more that anything I could thing of, looking straight at me.....The darkness I was hiding was illuminated, your smile, to give breath to my breath , and to stub once more my heart, crushed my knees under the weight of its glory. My mind was numb, the place was erased, and all that was left was her.
...You know, you must take a look at me, Baby, baby, I know that's the way...
Time, once again, was on the move and the voice of Brian Ferry's interpretation of
"the way you look tonight
"
brought fear to my heart, I turned around, seeking for a second drink. stronger one this time. To calm me down.
I stand still staring at the enormous variety of alcohol, try to think of possible knock-down combinations, I poured a big glass of beer, and insert a sot of tequila, a good drink, with a nice aftertaste and with guaranteed results.
"I will have one of that" heard a voice, and turned around in awe.
I was surprised to she her smiling at me
...all I ever wanted, all I ever needed...
I was even more disbelieved and turned to see if she was talking to someone else.
"None around" I though..."not good" I add, "not good at all", "OK, unexpected, but definitely good" I concluded.
"It would be my pleasure" I added with a smile, trying to look as fascinated as I could.
And as a naive knight from the old times I asked for her name:
"Could I have your name", and that time this few words implied that her name WAS important, as important as were the true names in the earthsea, from Ursula's K. Le Guin novels. A name that I will only know and pronounce cause she had gave it me.
I'm @@@@ she said,
@@@@@@@ I replied...
I present her the mixture of beer and tequila, she brought it to her lips and I wished that it were my lips she was drinking from.
She smiled at me, at least she liked it.
"So what are you doing in a place like this?" I asked
"A friend of mine is organizing it." she replied
...Stop me, oh, I said stop me, Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before...
"Who, @@@@? I know him since we were still at high school"
and it was easy for me to direct the conversation from that moment to where I was most comfortable with.
...I rather dance with you, than talk with you...
I can not remember the details of our conversation, what we were talking about, what was her favorite movie, her favorite song, what were her thoughts on religion, economics, the big bang theory, the existence of extraterrestrial beings, ... but all I wanted was to hear her talking
"Thank almighty sfiltros and koxakies the twin gods of alcohol that I'm not that drunk, I couldn't stop talking if I was" a thought crossed my mind...
It was as if I we were alone by the sea, or even better on a boat on the calmly surface of the sea, the sparkling sea under the bright light of a red full moon.
...You whisper secrets in my ear, Slowly dancing cheek to cheek...
All are a blur in my mind, I was only noticing her movements, her hand moved away a strand of hair getting in front of her face, her white skin soft and smooth as a marble statue. Her posture, as she was sitting to this long chair, her legs crossed. I was listening but not listening, I was talking and not talking. The world had disappeared, my friends fell into a black hole aimlessly wondering in the room. The room itself had vanished together with my friends.
And suddenly unexpectedly the black hole suck me through, the universe had collapsed under my feet.
"Actually, I'll be back at @@@@ in two days" I heard her saying.
I stopped talking, I stopped listening, everything stopped once more but this time even her was frozen, was out of the frame, out of my reach.
...Cos I don't wanna lose/What we had last time your leaving this life ain't fair/You don't get something for nothing, turn back/Mmmm gotta try a little harder/It could be sweet...
There was no point on continuing this, no point at all, suddenness filled me, darkness surrounded me, as in one night I had found and lost in a moment what I wished for.
I gave her my telephone number, but never asked for hers, cause I though that it will be meaningless to chase down what appeared to be a loosing case.
...this is the end...
Something that I always regret cause when I see on my cell phone screen, an identified/unknown telephone number, my mind always hopes at the other end to be her. But, it never is...
...and what can you tell to your friends that smile at you with truthful joy, knowing that something good was happening back there...
...κι είναι βάσανο ο φίλος, κι είναι βάσανο ο φίλος, που ζητάει εκδρομή...

11 comments:

Christoforos said...

soooo sad! But where is @@@@@@ exactly? It might not be very far you know. Distances are diminishing everyday. Said the expert!

You'll tell me the rest (especially the "long, black, straight hair" part) in three weeks with a glass of wine. Until then let me just go through this interesting musical playlist you have running in the background:

I got:

3. The Smiths
4. Kings of convenience
5. Queens of the stone age (little sister?)
6. blur? or maybe no song

I missed
1.
2.

Which are they?

trotos said...

1...and i can't help falling in love with you...THE KING

2. actually is a rephrase from the sonny and cher's song beat goes on, i always thought that it sounds better like this,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Beat_Goes_On




6. it's controversial since lots of songs include the "in the end"
blur's death of the party is the one i'am referring to, cause of the closing

SFILTROS said...

Πάντα χαίρομαι, όταν ένας μαθητής μου έχει πάρει κάτι από εμένα. Ίσως όμως αν είχες μεθύσει νωρίτερα να μην άκουγες πως αυτή θα έφευγε για του Ζούμπερη. Μάλλον πρέπει να τα πιούμε από κοντά.

trotos said...

ρε συ σκέφτομαι να βγάλω στον αέρα ένα μεγαλοπρεπέστατο κουλό και άκρως ακατανόητο μελλοντολογικό mail που είχα στείλει κάποτε για το πως θα είμαστε μετά από χρόνια. Αλλαγμένα ονόματα, βεβαίως βεβαίως, και στα Ελληνικά, γιατί βαριέμαι τις μεταφράσεις.
Λέμε τώρα.

SFILTROS said...

Και δεν το ανεβάζεις... Πλάκα θα έχει...

Christoforos said...

κατι μου θυμιζει αυτο το mail. Το χω διαβασει;

Β. said...

Τι λες ρε παλληκάρι... Στις φάμπρικες της Γερμανίας και του Βελγίου τις στοές θα πήγαινε;

(Καζαντζίδης είναι, δεν ξέρω αν θα ταίριαζε στο μουσικό κλίμα).

Unknown said...

wraio blogspot kai wraio keimeno..

trotos said...

Thank you for your kind words.
Sometimes I feel like writing something

Unknown said...

I'm not being kind i just like your writing..

P.S: say hello to Mixalis from me if you see him..Bye

trotos said...

Autes oi diakopes einai telikw megaaaaalhs diarkias

kalo kai kako