Miserable

Well today is the day that every optimism in me is gone. I had a 2-3 hours sleep, cause i got worry that i had forgotten an oven operational in Demokritos (foes list), and I was so anxious that I could not sleep. Actually to return to a normal state, I got the first bus at 5:15 in the morning and rushed to Ag. Paraskevi. Everything was OK. A lesson to learn for me that I should never worry about routine. It goes by itself. Although I was tired and sleepy, I noticed that public transportation at the early hours is like being in a completely different world. METRO and buses are filled with every kind of immigrants, going at the northern area of Attica to find a work. Everyone of them was carrying a bag with food for lunch, I suppose. Although they formed companies, none of them spoken to each other. Everyone looked so tired. And I was thinking, are those the bad guys? They desperately go to places that will offer them a minimum salary, like almost every one of us. Anyway, the trip back home was completely different, as if the sun erased the existence of those that travelled at the twilight zone. Sun was glorious, promising an excellent day. My spirit raised with the rising sun and i could think of nothing bad. I return home and started finishing some jobs in the garden (the ones I've promised to my parents) fixed a few loose ends in my apartment, prepared breakfast and a cup of coffee, and chat with my mother. As I went to my apartment Morpheus offered his arms and I couldn't resist him. So I slept for 2-3 hours. At around 2 o' clock I took a bath and joined my parents for lunch.

Then I started to organise my work, but before I started a friend, Fotis, told me that in 15 minutes I should be ready, cause they would pick me up. I went for another cup of coffee with a couple of friends in Argyroupoli. We talked about our favorite asian movies, anime and manga, and also watched half of the match between Larisa and Panathinaikos (no relevance to our story). So as soon as I returned to home I started to prepared for the meeting, with the other guys, at Plaka to wish Elias for his days at the army. I took the bus and it was almost empty, but the metro was another story. Filled with people, filled with vanity, with overconfidence to our looks, filled with people searching but never finding cause their criteria are based on material needs, or i seemed that way to me at the time being. As I was got off at Monastiraki, I watched all those people at the square, doing nothing, smoking the good stuff, drinking beer, and thinking how cool they are. They got the right to ruin everything they come across even if it doesn't belong to them, or even helped to be built. Anarchism in the U.K.??? You should visit Greece, even better live you myth in Greece. They bother me but I try to do everything in my power not to disturbed them. Do they do the same? Anyway, shit happens, but they have flooded the place.

And I met my friends. It was fun. It is always nice to be with friends. With people you can just chatting or analysing the meaning-of-it-all. It is even better to be with the ones you love and they love you back.

But, as soon as I returned back home a calming emptiness filled me, the void became me and choices of the past flashed before me. As I was closer and closer to home I could only think that it is mine but it is empty. And now I'm sitting in frond of the monitor writing down a cluster of my thoughts, believing that it will make me feel better. It does. But, it is not good enough. How my mood changed, from an excellent morning to an miserable night, I think it is not that hard to understand. For me anyways.

So without any further delay, even if it is half finished, even if a small fraction of my mood and thoughts is stated in those paragraphs I publish it, in case I change my mind. scripta manent

Tomorrow, as I will feel fresh and so does my mood will lighten up. For all I care, I will do my best to ameliorate my life.

That's all, goodnight and good luck